“Can I Buy You A Drink?” Posted by Learn to Approach | Filed under Openers

“Can I buy you a drink?” the oldest opening line in the book in fact I think my great great grandfather used that on my great great grandmother. If by some small chance you have never heard this opener great if you are currently using this to open a conversation with a women, I want you to slap yourself! Firstly where did this line come from? If you have seen any of the old Hollywood films this line was used all the time. A guy would walk up to the bar all cool, he would look over and see a gorgeous girl sitting there by herself and he would say “Can I buy you a drink?” She would always say yes and they would have this great conversation and all would end well. Confession time; when I was first starting out I would use this line and by the end of the night be $100.00 or so dollars lighter in my wallet with no date or phone number, there was once instance when I was buying this girl drinks while another guy was hitting on her. Oh to be young and stupid.
There are a lot of reasons why you should never ever use this opener. 1) Girls are a cautious these days (with good reason) most won’t take drinks from a stranger as they have no idea if it will be spiked. 2) If she says no to the drink where do you got to from there? 3) What’s it communicating to her when you open with this line? It is communicating that if I buy you a drink you will have to stay here and talk to me.
The fact is if you don’t have the game to back it up she will only walk away once she has finished the drink. If you have the game you don’t need to buy her the drink in the first place. Save yourself the money and time this line is out dated and will get you nowhere.
So what if she comes up to you and says will you buy me a drink? Now this is a little more difficult because if you say no she will walk away if you say yes you are a push over.
Now before I tell you how to handle this situation I want to give you my thoughts on this girl; If a girl you don’t know comes up to you and wants you to buy her a drink it is not her way of opening up a conversation with you so she can get your number. Believe it or not there are girls that will go out and not expect to pay for a drink all night, these girls I have no interest in and for that reason I like to have some fun and see where it goes.
Ok so this is what I do Her “Hey can you buy me a drink” Me “Ok, sure I will have a vodka and coke” Her “No will you buy me a drink” Me “Are you still here I thought you were getting me a drink, any way while you’re here let me ask you something……” I will normally just go with some question opener, sometimes my opener will be “Does this normally work for you? Do guys just buy you a drink? Tell me something what else have you got going for you besides your looks?”
In other words I will take her frame away from her, to this day it still amuses me. When you are approaching women no buying drinks to open a conversation. If you are talking to her for an hour or so may be, never feel that you have to though.